To say I was off my schedule while on vacation last week would be putting it mildly. I was away celebrating a friend’s 50th Birthday. We were winery hopping, eating at odd hours, and staying up wayyyy later than what is “usual” for me.
It’s times like these when I get to embrace what I’ve spent years of my life learning. These past five days epitomize what I mean when I say Grow with the Flow.
You see, there have been times when a trip like this would have left me feeling unworthy, full of guilt and shame, questioning my resolve, and the list goes on. It may even have taken me weeks to recover and certainly brought much self-depreciation.
In this state, how is it even possible to ENJOY time away or be HAPPY spending time with friends? I’d be showing up inauthentically, laughing and joking on the outside and smoldering in disgust on the inside, out of alignment with INTEGRITY, a value I hold dearly.
HINT…this is where we get to feel into what feels expansive or contractive in our bodies and choose where we put our energy and focus.
I may have gone down a dark path of what’s wrong with me and collected evidence of how I constantly disappoint myself.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy taking my own advice, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that some of those “old” behaviors and tendencies were present in my midst, creeping in when I woke up in the morning, or lingering as I laid to rest in the evening.
Instead of letting them have power over me, I recognize that living with extreme fear-based rules only serves to keep me spinning in the sea of “what’s wrong with me” Harshly judging myself even if I don’t like to admit it, judging others as well.
Implementing Grow with the Flow looks like this . . .
- Stay conscious
- Lean into the emotions that are arising
- Allow them and meet them with loving kindness
- Observe without identifying with the old pattern
- And Embrace loving boundaries instead of fear-based rules
What energy were these rules created in?
This is the power of Self-love and embodiment…when I begin from a space of I love and honor myself, I can be in alignment with joy and happiness. I get to untangle emotions of guilt and shame because they arise from ruptures in my system that want to be healed and met with compassion and curiosity.
It may not be an “easy” process, but I KNOW it is worth it, being present and engaged in life even when it is “hard” makes all the difference and, like anything, gets easier with patience and practice.
Cheers to a summer celebrating, loving, and honoring the YOU that is aware and showing up fully and authentically in YOUR life!
Let Love Rule,
Bobbi