Heartbreak…comes in many forms.  

My most recent heartbreak and, by far, most painful experience has been the loss of my younger, more empathetic, and way more outwardly loving sister. To know her is to love her, and I mean that sincerely. She embraced fun and enthusiasm in a way that was truly unique. If you have ever met her, you know what I mean. Her wit and sense of humor, albeit a little raunchy at times, were a major part of the impression she left on this earthly world. 

 Over the past two weeks, I’ve run the gamut of emotions while hearing stories of how her light had touched others.  I’ve gone from sitting in stillness and praying that her soul feels me professing my unconditional love and immense appreciation for what we’ve shared in this lifetime to being angry that she is gone and vowing never to forget her big laugh and genuine smile. 

 I’ve wondered how to “be” now, with this new level of grief and loss so raw and freaking real. In this contemplation, emotions like courage and trust feel foreign yet necessary. I’m called to a new level of experiencing the power and intensity of emotion. I’ve witnessed and empathized with this in others, yet have not had the capacity to truly understand it until now. 

 A recurring message from the divine spirit is to rest in the unknown until a clear path is shown.  The discomfort of the unknown is part of my existence for now.  I do know that a constant seeking of answers or avoidance of the unknown only prolongs the agony and robs me of the depth of which I am capable of loving and growing. 

 With all this swirling around in my field, I’ve been humbled by the outpouring of love and support my family and I have graciously received.  Each day, I find myself leaning into acceptance and grace, reminding myself to choose stillness, courage, and grace while enduring the pain and inviting it to be fully transmuted into wisdom and love.

With this, I will hold Carla in my heart as it heals. I will walk this journey with her alongside me in another plane and rest in the knowing that what we shared was a bond of love and grace that I will honor and share in her memory. 

Let Love Flow,

Bobbi